Yandy 2022

Every day, the birds flit about looking for scraps that anyone will throw at them. Yandy Kalei'iki instead throws them little diced-up

pieces of onion while sitting at her table, sipping on coffee and typing up her thesis. In a couple of days, those same feral birds will be found dead in the walkway to the coffee shop. Most of them will be half-eaten by rats and stray cats. Yandy is there too, sitting at her same spot, ordering sailor's coffee with a croissant and some cheese. The cashier is a young high school kid who is too bright for his own good. It gives him the mistaken belief that he is privileged enough to be obnoxious to his customers and fellow workers. Yandy is mindful enough to order a new cup of coffee and something to eat every hour. This is, so the proprietors know that she's not there to take up space, while contributing nothing to their business but her ass in their seat. Otherwise, every hour, the young high school kid, Sheldon, will approach each person and remind them that they have to buy something. They can't sit in their chair. Sheldon walks up to Yandy and reminds her of the same thing, to which Yandy holds up her coffee and croissant. 

"You have to order something different," Sheldon insists. "You can't order the same thing every hour."

"No, I don't," Yandy scoffs. "As long as I have ordered and paid for something, I can sit here. It's written right there on your dry erase board."

"Order something different," Sheldon growls.

"All right," Yandy adjusts herself in her chair. "I'll have twelve small coca-colas with crushed ice and a swigger of vanilla syrup."

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Sheldon sneered and walked off. An hour later, twelve small coca-colas with melted crushed ice and small puddles of water around the cups sat untouched on Yandy's table. Like clockwork, Sheldon approached and was taken to see that the twelve cups were still full. "You didn't drink any one of those?"

"Do I have to order something different?" Yandy asked.

"Yes," Sheldon was fuming, ready to burst.

"I'll have a black coffee and a croissant with cheese," Yandy looked at Sheldon.

"Black coffee and croissant with cheese," Sheldon repeated the order. "And fuck you, by the way."

"Not likely," Yandy replied. Sheldon stormed off but not before Yandy called out for him. The store owner was there by that time, working the cash register. "Excuse me? Can you take these drinks away before you go? There's water everywhere."

Sheldon couldn't be his usual obnoxious self with the owner there, so he was forced to swallow his pride and clean up the table. Because he was so distracted by his furious anger at Yandy, he didn't notice when she removed an eye drop tube from her purse and dropped a dab of it on his elbow. She went back to working on her thesis and didn't bother to drink the coffee went it came, in case Sheldon spat in it. An hour later, a commotion rose behind the counter. Sheldon suddenly became nauseated, his body began to swell, and then he fell to the floor with muscular paralysis. The ambulance arrived shortly after that. The conclusion of the EMT was that Sheldon became poisoned somehow. He was whisked off to the hospital and wasn't seen at the coffee shop for a long while. In the meantime, Yandy went back to her thesis about poisons found in Hawaiian culture and how they could be applied to curses.

Credit: Mocca Wallpapers

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