KEWPIE 2022

Bohemians from California are what they called themselves upon meeting people here on ʻOʻahu while making introductions.

This is a true statement in that they sought out the nearest Goodwill or Salvation Army where they sub-bargain hunting. They did it in every city they visited. I mean, geeze, itʻs the Salvation Army. How are you going to haggle for a lower price? Mr. and Mrs. Mc Enzie wandered about the Kaimuki establishment while little Rainey perused the clothing racks until she found the used and abandoned toy section. Some pretty new toys were still zip-tied to the box and wrapped in plastic. Rainey went right past it and made a beeline for a little brown porcelain kewpie doll wearing what looked like a Tahitian skirt around her neck. When Rainey brought the doll up to the counter and showed it to her parents, who were paying for some clothes, her mother grabbed it from her and then showed it to the cashier. "There is no price tag on this,"

"Mmmm," the cashier replied while looking at the doll with a furrowed brow. "Just take it; otherwise, itʻs just gonna sit on the shelf for a whole year before it gets thrown out."

Mrs. Mc Enzie handed the plastic doll to her daughter and all three of them merrily went on their way. The day was uneventful until later that night when the family was ready to retire to bed and call it an evening. "Funny, this little Tahitian doll," Rainey giggled. "Is it a coincidence that weʻre staying at the Tahitian Lanai, mom, and dad?"

"No such thing as koinky-dink," Mr. Mc Enzie said. "Everything is as it is meant to be."

"Good night Rainey," her mother cooed. "See you in the morning."

The morning came, and Rainey was gone; she was not in her bed, nor in the bedroom, or anywhere on the property. Instead, she was found next door at the Hilton Hawaiian Village purely because Mr. Mc Kenzie happened to glance in that direction. She wasnʻt wearing her pajamas. Instead, she wore a big furry white collar thing around her neck, which had tied bundles of raffia in it extending down past her knees, like a Tahitian skirt. Her father ran over to her and scolded her, "Rainey! How the hell did you get over here? And why are you dressed like that?"

"Relax, Clyde," Raineyʻs voice and demeanor was strangely adult-like. "I just did a little exchange; your Rainey is back at the hotel. Sheʻs kinda delicate, make sure you donʻt drop her."

As she walked away, her father grabbed her by the arm and spun her around. To which Rainey screamed at the top of her lungs, "LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU FUCKING GOON!"

~

Back at the room, Clyde returned with bad news for his wife Grace, but he was greeted with a strange sight. Grace sat on the couch, in her nightgown, hysterical. In her arms, she held the brown Tahitian kewpie doll, except that it was wearing Raineyʻs pajamas,