"Why do I do this to my body? Why do I paint it? Perfume it? Bathe my hair in chemicals? Burn and shave the other hairs from my armpits and privates?
Why do I do this to my body? Pluck the hairs from above my lips? Why do I take pills to adjust the natural cycle that my body follows to give you pleasure without procreation? Sex without love? My attention without commitment? Why am I your mother and not your wife? Why am I your lover but not your life?"She sat on the floor with the bouquet held loosely in her hand like a cowboy would keep a bottle of beer. Her husband to be was stunned, as was the pastor, the bridesmaids, and ushers. Her parents and his were displeased but kept a smile on their faces for the sake of appearances. She and Franklin decided that they were going to write their vows and exchange them during the ceremony. Franklin read his first, " I love you, Carly, me, me, me. You changed my life, me, me, me. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, me, me, me. Let's get to that honeymoon and start making babies, me, me, me."
No one expected Carly's vows to be the angst-ridden rant that it was, but if one knew Franklin, then one knew that he deserved it. His parents and her parents took her aside and tried to make her see reason, but she was tired of being reasoned into doing things that she did not want to do. Ignoring them, she got up and left the chapel. The limo idled on the corner, waiting for the text that the bride and groom were ready. By the time they walked out of the chapel, he would already park right upfront. He heard the back door open and saw the bride get in; she was early. "What's your name?"
"Verne," he replied. "Uh, are we waiting for the groom?"
"No," she sighed. "My family paid for this limo for the whole night, so just drive."
"Anywhere in particular?" He asked with a great deal of concern.
"Around the island, a couple of times, maybe stop when I have to take a piss or something," she mumbled.
~
AN HOUR LATER
The limo's stark white color stood out in the pitched black parking lot across the street from the cave. Carly sat on the hood of the vehicle nursing her second bottle of champagne. The driver, Verne, sat in the car because he was scared of not only the dark but of the reputation of the cave across the street. "Verne!" Carly screamed. "Get out here and drink with me! Stop being such a puss! Come on!"
Verne reluctantly heaved himself out of the car and went to the trunk, where he removed a torch flashlight. Placing it on the hood between himself and Carly gave him a better sense of security.
"Here," Carly handed him an unopened bottle, "you can have your own."
"How come you didn't get married?" Verne asked while swigging down the foam first, and then the drink itself.
"Verne, you don't know this because you're not a woman, but you don't ever want to be addressed as Mrs. Asshole," Carly pointed the champagne bottle at him. "Trust me; it looks shitty on a social security card."
"Nobody wants to marry an asshole," Verne agreed.
"No, I mean, Franklin's last name is Icehull," Carly waited for the reaction.
"Aaaoooohhhh!" Verne groaned. "Oh, that does suck!"
"The last name wouldn't have been so bad, I could live with it, but fucking Franklin is a fucking asshole," letting out a deep burp, Carly straightened herself up and headed across the street to the cave. "I gotta take a wicked piss; I'll be right back."
"Shoots," Verne called out. "Take the torch so you can see where you are going!"
"I got it, no worries," Carly waved him off. Verne was a lightweight when it came to alcohol. A couple of more sips, and he was out like a light. It was morning when Verne woke up; he was lying on the floor of his limo. The a/c was on, the vehicle idled in the parking lot. Seated above him was someone he'd only heard stories about but never thought him to be a real person; the other's who filled the seats in the limo were all the others he'd heard stories of. They were honest, and they were up close and personal. Carly was there too, except she wasn't in her wedding gown. She wore black slacks, flats, a black blouse, and a black coat. "Carly?" Verne asked. "What happened? My head hurts, how did I get in here?"
"Not Carly," she replied. "Tabby,"
"You slipped past us, but we found you, Verne Zugravescu, from Romania," the older Hawaiian man said.
Verne sat up straight but had nowhere to back up, "You're Boy," his fear was evident. He'd been made. "I've heard of you," nodding to the two elderly gentlemen seated next to Boy, Verne said, "you two are his uncles, and whoever is driving must be one of the Rizal brothers. I'm just a familiar, I'm not here for trouble, I just wanted to start my own business and live a real-life, that's all."
"Familiars always prepare a way for the master vampire," Boy began.
Ivan grabbed Verne by the back of his neck while Tiny pulled the collar of his shirt down. The superhuman strength he'd been gifted with after his master initially fed on him was nothing to what the three Kahuna possessed. Resist as he might fight back as he tried, he was helpless. "The marks are there," Tiny confirmed.
"My master will revenge me!" Verne hissed while he struggled under Ivan's grip.
"When you're master can no longer communicate with you, he will know that you are dead. Then, he'll find someone else, and someone else after that, and so on," Boy mused. Tabby kicked open the car door while Ivan and Tiny bodily threw Verne into the dirt parking lot across from the cave. The sun rising from the east had not yet reached its zenith in the sky above, but it was enough to reduce the familiar to ashes.
~
ON THE WAY BACK
"Please thank the Icehull family for their part in this," Boy asked Tabby. "Let them know that their compensation will be delivered accordingly,"
"Poor thing with that last name, though? " Ivan shook his head.
"Eh, Napualawa always gets all kind of mispronounced," Tiny chimed in. "Hard to cash a check nowadays."
Tabby reached across and squeezed her father's hand, "Thank you, Dad,"
Boy smiled and continued looking out the window, watching as the westside scenery passed. In his heart, he told himself that he would always protect the pristine beauty of his homeland from the rising sun at Lehua to it's setting at Kumukahi. He reminded himself to contact Alan and Juliana Higashi and Piker Teruya; he needed their help.
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