Never over it, but putting it to rest

I want to thank all of you for being kind enough to listen to this story I shared on Snap Judgement Presents: Spooked. My wife was important to this process in that she was there when I needed to talk about how this recording affected me both psychologically and emotionally.
This is a story I've been telling in many platforms in many capacities. It wasn't until I had to recount it in such depth to Snap Judgement that I was transported back to those very emotional moments when I was literally in the grip of death himself. Simultaneously, my soul was dying after a continuous period wherein I was told that I did not matter to a man whose love and approval I needed, Daniel.

I realized that he didn't have the tools to raise a son through affection. Instead, by showing a son that life sometimes was not fair or forgiving, it would toughen him up for what was to come. Although a simple pat on the back would have sustained me for an eternity, he felt that a stern parable would float me just as well. Funny, that what we need and what we receive are entirely two different things, and instead of communicating our needs, we choose to suffer in silence. I may never get over that part of my early childhood, but the time has come to put it away and let it exist where it happened in the past.

My wife and I can't forget to thank Maria Natalia for making the introduction to Snap Judgement, mahalo!

Where ever you are, Daddy, I love you, and I thank you for doing your best with what you were given. I'll see you again.

"Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountainside.
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling,
It's you, it's you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow,
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow,
It's I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow,
Oh, Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so!
But when ye come, and all the flowers are dying,
If I am dead, as dead I well may be,
You'll come and find the place where I am lying,
And kneel and say an Ave there for me.
And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me,
And all my grave will warmer, sweeter be,
For you will bend and tell me that you love me,
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me."

Lopaka | Snap Judgment Presents: Spooked | WNYC Studios