Every morning this tall husky looking woman with a horrid sense of fashion and an even more horrid taste in jewelry paces back and forth in front of our store with a wild look in her eyes.
She's a caged animal just waiting for an opportunity to pounce. I realize that I'm a new employee here and I didn't want to seem as if I were trying to be too familiar with the owner who was sitting in the back office but I had to know, "Mister Tan there's a really weird looking lady outside the store window walking back and forth like she's looking for someone to scream at. Should we be concerned?" I asked. Mister Tan peaked out from his office door and put his glasses on and gazed out the front window.
"Hoh mah gut yeah," he said in his thick accent while shaking his head. "Mesus pain in dah ass Dahroma!"
"Who is she?" Mister Tan is usually a very pleasant man, so to see him this upset and disgusted means that there has to be a good story for this one!
"Ha one deh she come in complain, yell, scream, and say bad ward to me! I no stupid, I no her treek! She tink she yell yell me I get tire and I give her dah shoo foh free! I yell her bahk get out! She shock! She hut attack and she die in my stoah right wea you stand!" He pointed at my feet and I slowly stepped away. "Dahs her ghost outsai, she like come in and yell me but no can! I poot dah foot and dah blessing sign outsai! No can come in from now on!"
"But Mister Tan, that's the only way in and out of this store, even with the food offering outside and the blessed sign, won't she yell and swear and scream at you once you go out the front door?" It only seemed logical right? Tell me I'm dumb if I'm wrong.
"Ho, my gut I know!' He shook his head in frustration and slunk back into his office with no further explanation. He left me hanging out here having to look at the ghost of this obviously horrible person stalking our storefront window. Just then Mrs. Tan walks in with an arm full of food in one hand while simultaneously rolling a carry on bag in the other. She's a lot more Americanized than her husband and a lot less high strung. She went straight to his office and dropped all the items off and came right back out.
"Hi Mrs. Tan, how are you today?" I asked with a smile.
She paused in front of me for a second while looking down at the floor and finally said, "My idiot husband caused Jan Dahroma to have a heart attack in this store. The last thing on that woman's mind was her big argument with him. So now her fucking ghost is spending her afterlife haunting my husband with the same fucking argument she had with him before she died! Oh yeah, he blesses and protects his business so she can't come in the store, but did he protect and bless his fucking house and his family? No. So guess what? Her fucking ghost ends up haunting our house, screaming, swearing, and yelling at him. So, I kicked him out and told him to come and live in his fucking store and to take his ghost with him!"
She turned and walked out the door and tore down the blessed sign and scattered all the food offering for the pigeons to have. Glaring at the ghost of Jan Dahroma, I could hear scream, Mrs. Tan scream, "He's all yours bitch! Have fun!"
Ho my gut.
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