(A conversation this morning with someone who wanted the gift of sight and all things spiritual)
ME: Most mornings if not all of them are filled with one normal occurrence and that is the sensation of someone playing with what's left of my hair.
If it isn't that then it's the slight touch of fingernails on my scalp. I'm quite certain that my job is not finally taking its toll and me and that I have not finally lost all sense of sanity. Other days when I need to lay down and gather my thoughts before endeavoring on the day's tasks, I will feel someone or something that is not there, take a hold of my toes and start to bend them toward me. In fact, this July past I felt the sensation of a long thin piece of wood pierce the underside of the ball of my right foot. The strange thing is that it was the sensation of being run through without the 'through.'
There are voices too; it sounds like the cacophony of many voices in a crowded restaurant except that these voices are not trying to have conversations with one another. Instead, they're all trying to talk to me at the same time. The apparitions? The apparitions stand there and wait to be acknowledged; you could liken it to standing in line while you wait for your name and the kind of coffee you ordered to be called. The difference is that I shut out the voices, and I never acknowledge the apparitions. Of course, you could say that all of this is fake because if it wasn't then it should be able to be examined in a closed environment where it can be poked and prodded. Others spend their whole lives in this field without ever possessing any kind of psychic ability, but wished to god they had it. I can't speak for others on this side of the veil where one is constantly riding the threshold on both sides. But let's just say that the door is open 24/7 and that no breaks or 'me' time exist. In my single days, this was not a problem but now with a large family, the 'we're closed' sign never gets taken down.
I can't risk it.
However, if this is what you wish for while standing outside the fishbowl just remember that the light switch only has one setting and it's not the off switch. You kind of have to pretend that whatever it is that is happening around you and to you is like someone for whom you have no care, you ignore them. If indeed you can shoulder the responsibility of constantly being touched in a myriad of ways by things that are not there. If you can stand to hear a countless number of voices whispering names into your thoughts, and if you can withstand the sight of someone who was just fifteen minutes ago, mutilated in a car accident on the freeway near your home, standing inches from you while they bleed blood and brain fluid while wearing their intestines on their lap, then I commend to you this 'gift' and I wish you well. Buuuuut, in less than a weeks time you'll be pounding on my door begging me to take back what I have given you. All I can do in return is tell you what I was told on the last day of my learning,
"This is the price you pay for what you've learned. To pass it on is a burden on those who do not understand the responsibility."
CALLER: (Busy signal)
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