SCRATCH AND THE COUPE DE VILLE
The 1970 Cadillac Coupe de Ville was the facelift car that gave Caddilac the best sales that the company would ever see from a single model.
It was also Nathan Pacheco's first car right out of Roosevelt High School, now after thirty-eight years, he found himself standing face to face with the man who answered his Craigslist ad to sell the car.
It was the Devil.
The agreed meeting place was the east end parking lot of Kapiolani Park at exactly twelve noon. Nathan was prompt and while driving into the lot he could just make out a Hawaiian man dressed in a black suit and tie standing beneath a monkey pod tree nearby. Parking the car, Nathan got out and looked around to see who the potential buyer was. That's when he heard his name being called and saw the Hawaiian man in the dark suit walking toward him, "Nathan Pacheco?"
"Hi, yeah!" Nathan waved. "You must be the guy?"
"I am indeed," the Hawaiian man confirmed. No sooner did the two shake hands and make eye contact did Nathan suddenly know that this man was Satan.
"Holy Mary Mother of Christ," Nathan's voice shuddered and he recoiled back toward his Cadillac for protection, it was a natural instinct. "I'm an old man already! I'm sixty-six years old, my time on this earth is short! Why you coming for me?"
"Because I'm the Devil," he shrugged his shoulders and smirked more than he smiled. "It's my nature as the prince of darkness, it's what I'm supposed to do. Like how the sun rises and sets every day? I do the devil thing day in and day out."
"Just like that? Heaven not going step in to save me?" Nathan pleaded now with tears in his eyes, it was such an unexpected thing to be found by the devil on craigslist of all places.
"Alright look," the devil began. "How long have you had this Coupe de Ville?"
"Thirty-eight years," Nathan stammered. "Right after high school, it was my first car. I bought it with my own money because I was working part-time at Star Market."
"So you know this car very well?" The devil asked.
" I know this car like my own kids," Nathan confirmed. "If you no keep maintenance the thing make (mah-keh) and then poho."
"Okay Nathan, sell me this car like you're a car salesman like you're working at a dealership," the devil smiled and slowly rubbed the stubble on his cheeks. "If you can do that, I'll leave you alone and you can live 'til a ripe old age. If not, you and me we take a drive in that coupe de Ville and you never come back."
"Hah? What kine shit is that? I dunno how to sell this car, besides, what you like me say?" Nathan was more upset now at how ridiculous the devil's offer was than being mad.
"Well, sell me on the thirteen vertical blades on your grill and the cross-hatched rectangular opening," Satan pointed toward the front of the car. "Show me the winged crest fender tipped emblems, tell me why 1970 was the last year that you could order a convertible body style? Tell me what the total amount of Cadillacs of this style were when it was sold in 1970? That's how you're supposed to sell it to me !"
"I can't do that," Nathan scoffed. "That's not how I know this car."
"I'm listening," the devil made it clear to Nathan that he had one shot and one shot only at selling the coupe de Ville. In the guise of a Hawaiian man dressed in a black suit and tie, Satan waited.
Nathan took a deep breath and looked intently at the straightly lined vehicle with all of its original paint impeccably intact. The gangster white walls were a pure white as the first day he bought it and the spoked hubcaps gave off such a clear shine that you couldn't help but marvel at its beauty. There was a character all over the car that even made a novice admirer of automobiles stop and stare. "This car brought my wife and me to our honeymoon straight from the chapel, it brought my wife to and from the hospital the three times she gave birth and came home.....it brought her to the hospital after she died in our kitchen. I sat and cried in that car for hours after that and I almost drove that car off a cliff because I missed my wife and I hurt so bad. That car went through kids, dogs, schools, spilled juice and soda, and stains from everything. All my kids learned how to drive with that car, my sons got dirty lickens from me after I caught them joyriding in that car.........my daughter broke up with a married man that she was seeing in that car. She doesn't know I know because I wen follow her that night....was hard for her. Took her long time to get over it before she finally met her husband but it's because of that car she met him. She ran him over by accident when he was jaywalking on Kahekili.
So many potholes and speed bumps, so many flat tires and overheating, so many times I take care of that car and that car take care of me,"
"So why are you selling it?" The devil asked.
"I'm old already, my eyesight is not so good, I get a hard time to sit down and more hard time get up." Nathan looked intently at old Scratch. "I just figure good to sell the car now before I go completely blind and get into one accident."
The Devil looked off into the depth of Kapiolani park as if he had a thought that suddenly penetrated his mind. The breath he took seemed to be a breath of resignation, and when he rubbed his hands together, he gave that smirk which could be mistaken for a smile, but one never knows when dealing with Satan. The Hawaiian man in the black suit and tie took Nathan by the arm and walked him back to the Coupe de Ville, opened the driver's side door and gestured for Nathan to sit. Gingerly did Nathan take his place behind the steering wheel, all the while keeping a keen eye on the prince of lies. The Devil closed the door ever so gently and placed his open palm on Nathan's forehead, whereupon Nathan fainted.
.............
1972
With the windows rolled down, Nathan drove in eager anticipation of his destination. Mary Ann Faithful sang, "Come Stay With Me" over the radio while the Coupe De Ville thundered up 'O'ahu avenue until it pulled up into the driveway of an old plantation style house with a large swath of grass for a front yard. Nathan put it in park and leaving the vehicle he ran the rest of the way up the driveway. Jennis Pacheco burst out of the house and came running down the steps where she met Nathan who suddenly knelt at her feet and kissed her pregnant tummy. He stood up and held her in his arms and kissed her all over. Together they walked to the Cadillac where Nathan pushed the front seat forward and reached into the back. He removed a bassinet and showed it to Jennis for her approval. Her smile said everything and the two walked into their home.
.............
NOW
"I'll find another one," said the devil. "They're a dime a dozen."
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