My house is all kinds of haunted, you name it, it’s happening.
Apparitions, choking, scratches, pounding on the walls and having my feet moved off the side of the bed. Literally, it’s a dead man’s party. I’ve tried all sorts of blessings from every denomination, every cleansing from shaman to crackpot and nothing works. So, the only thing my warped brain could put together was cooking, so I cooked. I cooked scrambled eggs for breakfast, steak for lunch, and lamb for dinner. Dessert was a frozen mango pie made with a vanilla wafer crust. I cooked like this every day and the confusing thing is that whatever it was that was haunting my house, didn’t eat any food that I left out, but the hauntings stopped. I figured, as long as I left food out for them, they wouldn't bother me. Therefore, I kept cooking. That is until one day I finally got a good look at myself in the mirror. My hair had thinned significantly and my eyes and cheeks were sunken and drawn. I could see the blue veins beneath my skin and my ribs and my bones were more prominent than they’ve ever been. Those fuckers! They weren’t feeding on the food because they'd been feeding on me the whole time! The food was a way in! They can haunt this house all they want but I ain’t cooking shit for them anymore!
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