Shawn
The orange-yellow glow of the sunset bathed her form so completely that it muted the color of the blue and green bathing suit she wore. If ever a moment was so picturesque, it would have been that one, it was a moment where her damp hair fell perfectly about her face and shoulders. It was a moment where the glow of the setting sun brought out the color from the light brown of her eyes, where it made her smile just as insipid as natures most stunning display. Although a grown woman, she was always ourlittle girl. Her skin was darker than when the day began, but not at all burned as it would be for most people. She turned and came to sit with her mother and me on the wooden bench. There were no words between the three of us, we sat and watched the suns spotlight ebb before it would sleep beyond the western horizon. Behind us, the ‘Prisoner in Disguise’ album played on the Bluetooth and as the last song neared its conclusion she leaned her head on my shoulder and took her mother’s hand, and sang along to the final words of the melody,
“If you are ever lonely
and you let me know
I’ll come running right on time
and rock you gently home,
Silver blue.…”
We made no mention of the impending Monday that was soon to come once the sun rose again in the east. This day would be ours until she lay in her bed in the latter part of the evening, it's where we would watch her as sleep gently took her to a slumber that she would never wake from. She didn’t want to spend her last few moments in a sterile hospital where she would die in an empty room or even worse, a room full of strangers. She wanted to see the sunset from the tide pools in Makaha where she’d always seen it as a little girl, it was always her favorite place to be and it’s where she had hoped to take her own children one day. By the time her sickness was diagnosed, it had already affected her ovaries and she was devastated. She hadn’t come out of her room for weeks until finally one morning she emerged from her grief and took her first bath after a long while. An hour later, she peeked into our bedroom and without a word. She crawled onto our bed and broke down crying in our arms.
She picked herself up after that day and packed twenty-six years of living into the year which she had left. I can’t even begin to go over the details of her services because it’s too painful, suffice it to say that she didn’t want to be buried in a graveyard. She wanted to be kept at home, and that’s where her services were held. On the anniversary of her passing my wife and I went to the tide pools in Makaha and it was a beautiful day, the morning drive was splendid as there was a nice breeze from the time we left home until we reached our destination.
It’s a quiet neighborhood near the tide pools and it’s not crowded with tourists in the way that other places tend to be. The afternoon was peaceful and my wife busied herself with collecting sea shells and other oddities, I tried to empty my mind as I looked down the length of the beach but I couldn’t help it. It was just there, the thought that I would never see Shawn again running down the beach her mother chasing her as she tried to get her to wear a bathing suit. I couldn’t help it, I came unglued and my wife walked over and held me. I apologized for being so selfish because we both lost Shawn. This wasn’t just my sadness alone. She assured me that it was okay because the two of us had our own individual memories of her, just like everyone else does.
Behind us was a beautiful beach house rental with finely manicured grass which we had noticed earlier. From somewhere within the home we heard the music playing and the sound of it drifted out to the beach where my wife and I held on to one another. We were caught in the moment and let the music move us as we wept in each other's arms.
“If you are ever lonely
and you let me know
I’ll come running right on time
and rock you gently home,
Silver blue.…”
It was time to go after that, we walked the little path back to the road when someone from inside the yard called, “Mr. and Mrs. Kapua! Huuuuuiii! Mr. and Mrs. Kapua! Huuuuuiii!”
We turned to see a group of people huddled around a picnic bench when one of the young men ran over to my wife and myself, “I dunno if you remember me? I’m Calvin Yee, we were all at Shawn’s services last year?”
“Oh yes! I’m so sorry.…” I trailed off but Calvin assured me that it was alright.
“It’s unreal that you guys are here because we rented out this beach house just to remember Shawn since it’s been a year. We were just listening to her favorite song and then we saw you guys...unreal huh?” Calvin was still a bit weepy and so were we.
“Wow,” my wife agreed and as we looked at one another, we knew that this was no coincidence.
“Anyway,” Calvin wiped his tears away.“Come join us, please! We have lots of food! What are you guys doing here by the way?”
She smiled at me my wife, like she knew what I was thinking, just the same as she was. “This was Shawn’s favorite beach, we took her here all the time, ever since she could walk.”
“Wow!” Calvin squealed and jumped up and down. "Shawn meant for us to be here and run into you guys!”
….……….
The food was just as delicious and vibrant as were the memories that were shared among a gathering of people who loved Shawn. Tears, laughter, and more tears were the appetites which filled the remainder of the day until we all gathered on the beach and watched the brilliant orange glow that came from the beautiful sunset which Shawn always loved to watch.
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