Advantage 1 Mrs. Pulama.
She kicked me in the nuts and kneed me in the face while I was hunched over in pain. If I didn’t do something to defend myself she was going to kill me. I managed to grab the stapler from my desk and opened it up and began stapling her on the top of her foot and her Achilles tendon. Thank god she fell to the floor; it gave me the opportunity to crawl over to her and apply a staple to her temple and her lower jaw. She screamed even more and rolled away from me without looking at where she was going. Her head hit the iron leg of my desk with a hollow thud. We were both bloodied up pretty good and while I tried to hold myself up and limp around my chair, Mrs. Pulama had already grabbed a nail file from her purse and sank it right into my thigh. I screamed and sucked up the pain and with superhuman effort I pushed the out dated computer screen right over the edge of my desk and watched it fall on Mrs. Pulama’s head. I may as well have hit her with a pillow.
It had no effect.
I was horrified as she rose to her feet and out of sheer panic I balled up my fist real tight and punched her in the nose. There was blood everywhere and Mrs. Pulama began to cry. Her feelings were genuinely hurt.
“How dare you punch a woman in the face?” She sobbed.
Was she serious? We nearly killed each other and she’s mad at me for punching her in the nose?
Why was she so murderously upset at me?
It’s because I canceled her husband’s insurance policy while he had cancer. He died a month after the cancellation and unbeknownst to Mrs. Pulama, her husbands ghost had already been haunting my office.
In fact, Martin Pulama's apparition stood in the corner and watched while his wife tried to kill me.
"She got one nice right hook," Martin observed.
"Go to hell," I told him. "If you're not already there,"
"I'm just a ghost, you're the one who's stuck in your own personal hell. Doesn't pay to be an asshole does it? "
Martin sat down in the chair opposite my desk and just laughed.
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