98 nights 'til Halloween, "Finding the game"

A poor girl downloaded the Pokemon game on her iPad because she lost her glasses and was not able to see it on her iPhone. In the middle of the rush hour din in the Ala Moana Center, she has headed toward her parked car just twenty feet away from the food court and is oblivious to everything around her. Her peripheral is good enough that it adeptly guides her body through the crowd until she is aware that she is in the parking lot, but by then, it’s too late. She fails to see the oncoming rent-a-car that is heading straight toward her at a high rate of speed.

The young driver himself is also playing the Pokemon game while maneuvering the convertible and crushes the girl beneath the wheels of his vehicle, killing her instantly. The sensation of the girl’s twisted body beneath the frame of the Mustang rattles and jostles the car, but it doesn’t bother him, it just feels as if he’s hit another speed bump. He’s raced over a bunch of them for the past hour.

So, if you think you’ve run over and killed a young girl wandering the mall parking lot at peak shopping hours with an iPad in her hands, don’t panic. She’s not real anymore, and you haven’t done anything wrong. She’s just trying to complete the game by finding Charmander.